if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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