It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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