She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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