so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
