Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
