She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
