If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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