"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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