whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
