I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize