Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
