Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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