Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
