I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
