9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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