Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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