She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
