I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
