so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
