Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
