You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
