I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
