i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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