Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
