..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
