And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
