People with herpes should wear stickers.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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