its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
