Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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