I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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