My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
