yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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