last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
