U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
