Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
