just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
