I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
