You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
