can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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