So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
