better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
