escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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