so explain again why im purple
no
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
