last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
