6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
