i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
