just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
