There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
