yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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