I think i peed on brittanys purse
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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